N is for Nelson

 N Bloom Farm is named in honor of my son Nelson. 

Unfortunately for reasons unknown, Nelson was born with severe hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy (HIE) and he peacefully passed in my arms in the afternoon of Sept. 15, 2022. The time I spent with him were some of the most precious moments of my entire life. The time without him though has been without question the most difficult. 

I started N Bloom Farm as a way for myself to heal; however, in my healing I’ve recognized that one of the most significant things that I want my farm to do is address the loneliness that also comes with losing a baby.  

After Nelson died, I struggled to find support outside of my family, close friends, and really amazing therapist. I especially struggled with finding support in my local community; my motherhood and my baby felt invisible. 

One of the reasons that I moved to Tulsa in 2019 was that it has so much to offer. But then when my baby died, I was amazed at the lack of support groups; there aren’t a lot of local groups and the ones that are here, tend to be very focused (ie. miscarriage, stillborn, religious). I didn’t feel like I fit into a lot of those categories so I had to find my loss mom friends online. 

I also wanted community/public recognition of my motherhood and baby. I want to participate in events with other loss parents where our babies are the focus and its not just us getting group therapy about their death. I want to be physically present telling another parents that they are not alone in their grief. 

So with all of this in mind, I’ve transitioned over to the nonprofit sector in order to grow and foster a community in which loss parents of any sort feel supported and their baby/babies are recognized by a larger community than just close friends and family.

N Bloom Farm is here to support myself, but also other loss parents as we do the impossible: 

survive without our babies earth side. 

-Haley